A Lab’s Love Language

On By Beth AlisanIn Lessons

My Labrador’s love language is licking.  Not that she expects you to lick her in return.  Rather she expresses her affection to one and all, animal or human, with the lick of her long, pink, velvety tongue. 

A Labby Lick
Our cat receiving some Labrador love

The kids, our cat Reeses, and I accept this as just part of who she is, and we embrace her daily lick quota.  Whenever someone asks, “Can I pet your dog?” my “yes” is always followed with the warning that she will probably lick them.  And when she does lick the hand that pets her, a big smile usually brightens the face of the recipient. 

Not everyone appreciates Adi’s expression of love, including my husband.  Although they mutually enjoy one another, my husband warns Adi away when she gets that “licky” look on her face. “Don’t you dare lick me!” he firmly tells her.  Obediently she holds her tongue.  At least for the time being.  Wisely she has learned to bide her time, waiting for a moment when he’s off guard to conduct a drive-by licking.  Like nonchalantly licking him on the knee or foot as she passes through family room. His cry of disgust doesn’t dissuade her from future licks. She can’t help herself. She simply must let him know how much she loves him. 

Watching Adi express love to the world around her has shown me that we each have our own way of communicating love.  For Adi, it’s a labby lick.  For my Nana, it was a big bear hug given to all who met her.  For a dear friend, the gift comes in the profound words she shares from the heart.  My mother offers a listening ear and wise counsel while my father offers his mechanical expertise to build or fix things.  For me, it’s seeing the best in others and building them up with words of encouragement.

Adi has taught me not to change my expression of love even when it is not well received.  It takes a lot of courage for me to speak into someone’s life.  When it is received, I’ll readily continue to give my gift of love to that person.  However, when it is rebuffed, I withdraw and shy from ever doing so for that person again.  Adi has shown me to bide my time, waiting for just the right moment to give a drive-by encouragement.

And walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Ephesians 5:2, NIV 1984

Lord, thank you for the love You give me so I can love others and for a Lab who daily reminds me to live life by loving generously. Amen

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8, NIV 1984

© 2024, Lessons from a Lab, Beth Alisan.  All Rights Reserved.

32 thoughts on “A Lab’s Love Language”

  1. What a special post Beth! This one slipped past my radar till today but it came at just the right time. I am learning that God always provides us ways to serve, but not always in the places or with the people we plan on. I am on your husband’s side with dog licks though. One lick goes a long way!

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    2. Catherine Soehnlin's avatar Catherine Soehnlin

      Beautiful post Beth. I feel the same way when I share love a certain way and it’s not well received.
      Your many gifts of encouragement and love have certainly blessed and uplifted my heart.
      I’m looking forward to the spring so we can walk our dogs together again. 💕

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  3. Nancy's avatar Nancy

    What a beautiful lesson Adi has taught us about the importance and persistence of reaching out to others in love. I laughed at your husband’s response to the love licks and the drive by licking of Adi. Great post.

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  4. Katherine Pasour's avatar Katherine Pasour

    Our dogs love us unconditionally–a wonderful illustration of God’s love for us, I think. My Heidi was a licker. It was hard on my grandchildren whose faces were the target. I tolerated hand licks and returned her love with a good rubbing or a hug. I appreciate your reminder to keep trying, even when our efforts are rebuffed. I struggle with that, too.

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    1. Katherine, I’m so glad this lesson brought sweet memories of your Heidi. I believe one of the reasons Adi loves the toddler/ preschool crew best is because their hands and faces offer an array of delicious flavors particularly her utmost favorite- peanut butter.

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    1. Tierney, I’m so glad this post brought you some chuckles and smiles! You are one who understands the heart of a Labrador. I know Adi would absolutely adore you. Not so sure Mike would appreciate all the licks she would send his way though.

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  7. Drive-by Labby Licks – oh, that made me smile. Such a precious Adi to show her unbounded love at every chance! May I never hesitate to show this sort of unbridled love of God to all those I pass by or live with every day. Even a genuine smile in the store aisle can lift someone’s spirits so much. Your words always lift me up and encourage me so much, Beth. Blessings!

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  9. Your post had me thinking about all the creative ways we can express love to one another–including Labby Licks from Adi! There’s something for everyone, isn’t there–in the giving and in the receiving. And both contribute to our joy. You’ve inspired me, Beth. I want to seize the day–with love in action!

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  11. Oh, the life of a helper and encourager! How wise you are, Beth, to encourage dogs (and people) to keep being who they are.

    I’ve been told, by both friends and acquaintances, “Not everyone wants your help, David…”

    It certainly sent me back into my shell. But then I got brave, and went straight to the fellow divorced person I sought to help in the first place. He assured me he appreciated my concern and it helped him to know that someone else could get through this.

    I enjoyed your post, and the thought behind it: God makes us like He does for a reason!

    🙏Blessings to you and yours, including 🐾🐾🐾🐾 Adi and Summer. And 🐈 Reese’s Pieces too!

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    1. Thank you Gary! We do get a good laugh when Adi successfully conducts a drive by licking of my husband as we tell him that he sounds like Lucy in the Peanuts when she gets licked by Snoopy. My favorite response to Adi’s labby look is my brother who looks at her frankly and says “No thank you” then moves out of reach.

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  13. Beth, I smiled at your husband’s response to Adi’s love licks. I’m a part of that group who prefers not to be licked and one of my dogs doles out love licks. You’ve put a perspective on it I never considered. I know people have “love” languages but never considered it in animals.

    I hope to be as persistent as Adi in loving people who’ve resisted or put off my attempts at expressing a touch of love.

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    1. Thank you Manette! My experience says there is a 50/50 split on those who do and those who do not like to be licked. I have a dear friend who prefers not to be licked but tolerates it just because she likes Adi so much. I actually have a lovely neighbor who will meet Adi at the end of her driveway just to receive a Labby lick from Adi. She says that bit of love stays with her all day.

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  14. What an encouragement Adi is to all of us to be willing to use every opportunity to share a little love, even unexpectedly. I get a thrill deep in my heart from encouraging others; I think it may not be so bold say it is the approval of Father God. The look if Adi on the last pic reminds me of Glen, who would do just that on your knee looking at you with his big brown eyes.
    God bless you and your family today sister 🙏

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